Post by truebeliever on Mar 10, 2016 12:06:31 GMT -8
A quick readthrough using a V 1.0 save toward the end produced these. I'm assuming most of the new content occurred after the V 1.0 ending. Errors from that point start with #74 in the list below:
1. Original: Ava: Warning, new hostiles inbound! Pirate forces, on a intercept course!
Fix: On an intercept
2. Not sure why I didn't notice this before, but there seems to be steam in the shower room, even though Icari's taking a cold shower. Maybe you should just take out that bit about the shower being cold.
3. Original: Icari: You better prepare yourself! I'm not gonna be out drank by a choir boy like you!
Fix: outdrunk
4. Original: He leaned in to Chigara's ears.
Fix: He leaned toward Chigara.
5. Original: Fontana: But it shall be time which wither away the wealth of the imperialists.
Fix: withers away
6. Original: Claude offered to Shields some pain numbing lubricant.
Fix: offered Shields
7. Original: Asaga laid awake on her bed.
Fix: lay awake
8. Original: Ava: We have received various contracts to fulfill on route to Cera from our various partners.
Fix: en route
9. Original: Ava: The Alliance has received word of strange disappearances occuring in the Pacemus Nebula.
Fix: occurring
10. Original: Last week, PACT has docked a fleet at the Union's stations in Tydaria...
Fix: PACT docked a fleet
11. Original: and arranged an Alliance fleet to drop in and sink the PACT fleet.
Fix: arranged for an Alliance fleet
12. Original: Kayto: And thanks to that, the Alliance overlooks the fact that they've been getting shelled with Union made missiles the entire war.
Fix: Union-made
13. Original: Kayto: All right, let's cause enough of mess here so that the Alliance can perform their diplomatic mission.
Fix: of a mess
14. Original: Kayto: This will be our final battle. Nothing will going to stand between us and our home.
Fix: Nothing will stand
15. Original: Asaga: No... That's... not want I want at all...!
Fix: not what I want
16. Original: Alice: To think the great Acadius gave his life for those lowlifes!
Fix: Arcadius
17. Original: Asaga: She's isn't one of us!
Fix: She
18. Original: Shields sat with Chigara on his lap on at his bureau.
Fix: on his lap at his bureau.
19. Original: Kayto: What's the situation.
Fix: What's the situation?
20. Original: Alice: We are surrounded. Out numbered. Out powered.
Fix: Outnumbered. Outpowered.
21. Original: Icari: A-are you crazy!? The Libety's spinning like a yoyo!
Fix: Liberty
22. Original: Sola: Target successful.
Fix: Attack successful
23. Original: Kayto: Shields patted Chigara on head.
Fix: Shields patted Chigara's head.
24. Original: Icari: By the time this is over, I wouldn't be surprised if that actually turns out being the case...
Fix: turns out to be the case
25. Original: Asaga: But they've got another thing coming if they think their tricks are going to work!
Fix: Strictly speaking, the phrase is "another think coming;" suggest "But they're wrong if they think..." so you don't have two "thinks" so close.
26. Original: Asaga: (I'm the only who...!)
Fix: the only one who
27. Original: Chigara lied beside Shields
Fix: lay beside
28. Original: Fontana: The second fleet has already pledged their loyalty to me.
Fix: has already pledged its (singular verb, singular pronoun)
29. Original: Fontana: They are no longer comrades to the revolution, but merely your brain washed puppets.
Fix: brainwashed
30. Original: Alice: Did you think that I would leave you with the second fleet with no back up plan?
Fix: backup
31. Original: Ava: I-impossible! The second fleet has just powered their engines!
Fix: has just powered its (singular verb, singular pronoun)
32. Original: Chigara: I will enter the prototype's neural link and attempt to interfere with their thoughts!
Fix: prototypes'
33: Original: Prototype: And by fortune, your path crossed with Shields, the would be savior of the galaxy.
Fix: would-be
34: Original: Prototype: We allowed your free reign in your interactions with him so we may learn his machinations.
Fix: free rein
35. Original: Alice: Hahahaha! Pathethic!
Fix: Pathetic
36. Original: Kayto: (There's nothing on the field which can counter it!)
Fix: In this case, use "that" instead of "which"
37. Original: Ava: How say we fire every shell, laser, and missile at it and see how it fares against the full might of humanity's wrath.
Fix: Replace period with question mark.
38. Original: Sola: Legend speaks that the Myr'lan'dur single handedly destroyed...
Fix: single-handedly
39. Original: Kryska: This is the best time to show the galaxy that freedom will win over the tools of long dead tyrants any day!
Fix: long-dead
40. Original: Fontana: It was made by the hands of man, and it can be fallen by the same.
Fix: felled by the same
41. Original: Admiral: If we lose here, against just one ryder, my offspring will become laughstocks for the next ten generations.
Fix: laughingstocks
42. Original: Fontana: No longer will we overlook the suffering of our people for reckless misadventures on foreign lands.
Fix: in foreign lands
43: Original: Icari: S-seriously... W-who the hell do I think I am...
Fix: do you think
44. Original: Admiral Grey held hands with Fontana...
Fix: shook hands
45. Original: Admiral: ... While we mourn for those who lost their lives, must also commemorate the living.
Fix: we must also commemorate
46. Original: Shields stood to his feet.
Fix: Shields rose to his feet.
47. Original: For a moment, a second became eternity
Fix: For an instant, a second became eternity. (moment/second clashes badly)
48. Original (same line as above): Blood splatted Shields' face...
Fix: spattered (sprayed with small drops) or splashed (lots of blood)
49. Original: ... just moments before were rendered to pieces.
Fix: were rent to pieces. (past participle of render)
50. Original: Shields felt as if his own blood was draining out...
Fix: were draining out (conditional)
51. Original: Shields howled and clenched his blood soaked hands.
Fix: blood-soaked
52. Original: The hunter drones systemically hunted...
Fix: systematically or methodically
53. Original: Humanity is but a jealous, paranoid, hate filled biomass.
Fix: hate-filled
54. Original: Shields pointed his arm at Fontana,...
Fix: pointed at Fontana
55. Original: I WAS A FOOL TO THINK PEACE WOULD EVER EXIST BETWEEN YOU AND I
Fix: between you and me. (In this sentence, Kayto is the object of the preposition "between" and so has to take the objective form "me." Trust me on this one.)
56. Original: Ava held down Shields and wrestled him to the floor.
Fix: Ava held Shields back and... (If she was holding him down, then she couldn't wrestle him to the floor.)
57. Original: Kryska raised her side arm
Fix: sidearm, like firearm
58. Original: Kryska: I'm sorry captain.
Fix: I'm sorry, captain.
59. Original: The three of them went flying in the shock wave.
Fixes: flying from the shockwave.
60. Original: Kryksa: It is a more small scaled version of the original, which can be mounted on a regular ship based torpedo.
Fixes: small-scaled, original that can be mounted (no comma), ship-based
61. Original: Kryska: It's destructive potential is correspondingly smaller.
Fix: Its
62. Original: Kryska: H-honestly... that I never personally even fathomed it was even an option...
Fix: never personally fathomed (take out an "even")
63. Original: Kayto: Can we perform a short range warp...
Fix: short-range
64. Original: Kayto: All right Cosette... I'll let you out...
Fix: All right, Cosette...
65. Original: Kayto: And I hear the hanger crew...
Fix: hangar crew
66. Original: Ava: We are still 900 000 kilometers from the target and the warp drive...
Fix: 900,000 kilometers from the target, and the warp drive... (two commas)
67. Original: Ava: We are 100 000 kilometers from the target!
Fix: 100,000
68. Original: Kayto: All ahead full! Prepare to fire the vanguard at point blank range!
Fixes: Vanguard, point-blank
69. Original: Ava: 70 000 to target!
Fix: 70,000
70. Original: The Sunrider howled as a chunk of its mouth...
Fix: a chunk of its prow
71. Original: She checked off the last names off her crew list...
Fix: She checked off the last names on her crew list... (Take out an "off")
72. Original: Kayto: Our mission was nothing but a long shot gamble...
Fix: longshot
73. As Kayto sits in the wrecked bridge, the display screen above him shows a diagram of the Sunrider headed for Machiavelli Actual; it reads "Collison Course" instead of "Collision Course."
74. Original: Alpha: (No... She has long ceased being human... And has become a different entity all together...)
Fixes: long ceased to be human... altogether
75. Original: Claude: And this time, Claude will definitely win his heart! There won't be no little C8 unit to interfere any more!
Fix: There won't be any little C8 unit to interfere! (Use of "no" and "any" was inconsistent in the original. Claude would use one or the other, as in "no little C8 unit to interfere no more" or "any little C8 unit to interfere any more. And both produce repetition. Just ditch the "any more" phrase.
76. Original: Alpha: You will use your powers to change the time line?
Fix: Subsequent references have "timeline."
77. Original: Lynn: I felt a premonition. A sudden, inexplicable, urge...
Fix: delete comma after "inexplicable"
78. As mentioned by others, Ava has her eyepatch even if the player didn't opt to destroy the Legion.
79. Original: Asaga: I can't believe I just found like you like that!
Fix: just found you
80. Original: Kayto: She used the mindstream to control Chigara...
Fix: No one except the Prototypes have called the neural link that up until now, and Shields wouldn't know the term. Just make it "used the neural link" to control Chigara, as before.
81. Original: Kayto: I still hear the echos of Ava's voice that day...
Fix: echoes
82. Original: Kayto: "Captain... your order..."
Fix: Ava actually said "What are your orders, captain!?" in First Arrival.
83. Original: Kayto: Our hard won peace... completely shattered at my feet.
Fix: hard-won
84. Original: Kayto: ... Stare at death's maws with both eyes open.
Fix: death's maw or death's jaws. How many mouths does death have?
85. Original: Kayto: Can I be judged worthy of having done my duty.
Fix: It should be "Could I be judged" because of the phrases that preceded it: "I had to stand my ground... and only then..."
86. Original: Sola: Fear not. I merely seek to apply my in marksmanship...
Fix: I merely seek to apply my marksmanship...
87. Original: Kryska: While this may be of disappointing news, I intend to turn myself in to the Alliance!
Fix: may be disappointing news,
88. Original: Icari: Oy, whatdaya mean, she saved you!?
Fix: Oy, whattaya mean
89. Original: Claude: That sure was a messy entry... piro-tee~
Fix: I assume she's saying "pilot" in a Japanese accent. The problem is, it reads like "pirotee." Maybe just make it "pilot."
90. Original: Veniczar S. Fontana stood at the bridge of the Assault Carrier Vae Victus.
Fix: The Latin phrase is "Vae Victis," "Woe to the conquered."
91. Original: Kuushana: The Alliance will seek a target which will deal the most damage to our will. And a heavily populated core world like Tethra would to too tantalizing a target if it were to remain completely undefended...
Fix: "like Tethra would be too tantalizing"
92. Original: Kuushana: They will perform a risky multi-stage warp from Barona to Tethra, and ignore Cera all together.
Fix: altogether
93. Original: Kuushana: Thus far, Grey was wise enough to avoid such high risk strategems.
Fixes: high-risk, stratagems
94. Original: Kuushana: That will be the end of their offensive, as their ships will now be trapped deep inside PACT space with no safe warp back point to retreat.
Fixes: as their ships will be trapped, no safe warpback point to retreat to.
95. Original: Kuushana: The entire galaxy detests us now. And by good reason...
Fix: And for good reason
96. Original: Kuushana: The age of Compact, where we sought peace, instead of violence, freedom, instead of blind obedience to demagogues, and equality for all, begins today!
Fixes: The age of Compact in which we seek peace instead of violence, freedom instead of blind obedience to demagogues, and equality for all begins today!
97. Original: Fontana: (When we travelled the stars to liberate ourselves from the New Empire...)
Fix: traveled (LiS is a U.S. company, and this is how it's spelled in the U.S., just as it was spelled when Shields, about to crash the Sunrider into Machiavelli Actual, talked about the ship having "traveled the stars.")
98. Original: For as long as Shields could see, nothing but sand stretched on into the horizon.
Fix: For as far as Shields could see
99. Original: It was difficult to believe these deserts were considered one of Tydaria's more livable areas. Other locales featured nothing more than toxic gases and scotching heat.
Fix: scorching heat
100. Original: Sola: I believe Claude was actually the one who has been relying our movements to the prototypes.
Fixes: was actually the one relaying our movements
101. Original: Sola: It was like a momentary trace, where all of my surroundings faded away...
Fix: trance
102: Original: Sola: It was as if I was suspended in deep sleep once more, yet I was still in control of my body.
Fix: It was as if I were suspended in deep sleep once more, yet still in control of my body.
103. Original: Sola: Such powers were beyond even the Ryuvians... For if such a power was attained, the Holy Empire would never have collapsed. Even if it did, one could easily restore the Empire by simply travelling back in time.
Fixes: For if such a power had been attained; Even if it had, one could have easily restored the Empire; traveling back in time.
104. Original: Sola: Indeed, I feared if I exposed the truth of her identity, she may simply write me out of existence.
Fix: she might simply
105. Original: Kayto: Claude is a TIME TRAVELLER?
Fix: TRAVELER
106. Original: Sola: But not a god which seeks to be worshipped or feared.
Fixes: that seeks, worshiped
107: Original: Sola: A god which seeks... amusement.
Fix: that seeks
108. Original: Sola: An entity which merely desires...
Fix: that merely
109. Original: The notion that Veniczar S. Arcadius was actually just a petite girl would have been easier to swallow than this revelation!
Fix: They already know that about Arcadius, so it should be "The notion that Veniczar S. Arcadius was actually just a petite girl had been easier to swallow than this revelation!"
110. Original: That good for nothing hack of a doctor... actually a diety!?
Fixes: good-for-nothing, deity
111. Original: Sola: I must have warped forward in time two thousand years just moments before the activation of the Sharr'Lac's final tear.
Fix: Final Tear, to match previous references.
112. Original: Sola: That would further explain why I survived the certain death that the final tear would have caused.
Fix: Final Tear
113. Original: Sola: Claude has come to return me... to my own time line.
Fix: "timeline"
114. Original: Sola: I am effectively a rogue agent which should not exist in this universe. If am to...
Fix: If I am to
115. Original: Sola: Put another way, if my existence changes the time line...
Fix: timeline
116. Original: Kayto: From what you've told me of your time line
Fix: timeline
117. Original: Kayto: You said it yourself, right? You time warped just a second before the final tear burst.
Fix: Final Tear
118. Original: Kayto: Maybe there's still a way out of this. Without you returning to your time line.
Fix: timeline
119. Original: His losses have been grave.
Fix: had been grave
120. Original: Their mission was vast, and their efforts even mightier. And they got close to winning.
Fix: And they'd gotten close to winning.
121. Original: But at the last moment, the enemy had one last trick up their sleeve and snatched victory away.
Fix: the enemy had had one last trick
122. Original: Officer: Further, it appears the Farari bitch was also caught in the temporal blast and flung into this time line as well.
Fix: timeline
123. Original: Officer: Unknown interlopers have destroyed the time device, and thus we cannot anticipate returning to our time line...
Fix: timeline
Fix: On an intercept
2. Not sure why I didn't notice this before, but there seems to be steam in the shower room, even though Icari's taking a cold shower. Maybe you should just take out that bit about the shower being cold.
3. Original: Icari: You better prepare yourself! I'm not gonna be out drank by a choir boy like you!
Fix: outdrunk
4. Original: He leaned in to Chigara's ears.
Fix: He leaned toward Chigara.
5. Original: Fontana: But it shall be time which wither away the wealth of the imperialists.
Fix: withers away
6. Original: Claude offered to Shields some pain numbing lubricant.
Fix: offered Shields
7. Original: Asaga laid awake on her bed.
Fix: lay awake
8. Original: Ava: We have received various contracts to fulfill on route to Cera from our various partners.
Fix: en route
9. Original: Ava: The Alliance has received word of strange disappearances occuring in the Pacemus Nebula.
Fix: occurring
10. Original: Last week, PACT has docked a fleet at the Union's stations in Tydaria...
Fix: PACT docked a fleet
11. Original: and arranged an Alliance fleet to drop in and sink the PACT fleet.
Fix: arranged for an Alliance fleet
12. Original: Kayto: And thanks to that, the Alliance overlooks the fact that they've been getting shelled with Union made missiles the entire war.
Fix: Union-made
13. Original: Kayto: All right, let's cause enough of mess here so that the Alliance can perform their diplomatic mission.
Fix: of a mess
14. Original: Kayto: This will be our final battle. Nothing will going to stand between us and our home.
Fix: Nothing will stand
15. Original: Asaga: No... That's... not want I want at all...!
Fix: not what I want
16. Original: Alice: To think the great Acadius gave his life for those lowlifes!
Fix: Arcadius
17. Original: Asaga: She's isn't one of us!
Fix: She
18. Original: Shields sat with Chigara on his lap on at his bureau.
Fix: on his lap at his bureau.
19. Original: Kayto: What's the situation.
Fix: What's the situation?
20. Original: Alice: We are surrounded. Out numbered. Out powered.
Fix: Outnumbered. Outpowered.
21. Original: Icari: A-are you crazy!? The Libety's spinning like a yoyo!
Fix: Liberty
22. Original: Sola: Target successful.
Fix: Attack successful
23. Original: Kayto: Shields patted Chigara on head.
Fix: Shields patted Chigara's head.
24. Original: Icari: By the time this is over, I wouldn't be surprised if that actually turns out being the case...
Fix: turns out to be the case
25. Original: Asaga: But they've got another thing coming if they think their tricks are going to work!
Fix: Strictly speaking, the phrase is "another think coming;" suggest "But they're wrong if they think..." so you don't have two "thinks" so close.
26. Original: Asaga: (I'm the only who...!)
Fix: the only one who
27. Original: Chigara lied beside Shields
Fix: lay beside
28. Original: Fontana: The second fleet has already pledged their loyalty to me.
Fix: has already pledged its (singular verb, singular pronoun)
29. Original: Fontana: They are no longer comrades to the revolution, but merely your brain washed puppets.
Fix: brainwashed
30. Original: Alice: Did you think that I would leave you with the second fleet with no back up plan?
Fix: backup
31. Original: Ava: I-impossible! The second fleet has just powered their engines!
Fix: has just powered its (singular verb, singular pronoun)
32. Original: Chigara: I will enter the prototype's neural link and attempt to interfere with their thoughts!
Fix: prototypes'
33: Original: Prototype: And by fortune, your path crossed with Shields, the would be savior of the galaxy.
Fix: would-be
34: Original: Prototype: We allowed your free reign in your interactions with him so we may learn his machinations.
Fix: free rein
35. Original: Alice: Hahahaha! Pathethic!
Fix: Pathetic
36. Original: Kayto: (There's nothing on the field which can counter it!)
Fix: In this case, use "that" instead of "which"
37. Original: Ava: How say we fire every shell, laser, and missile at it and see how it fares against the full might of humanity's wrath.
Fix: Replace period with question mark.
38. Original: Sola: Legend speaks that the Myr'lan'dur single handedly destroyed...
Fix: single-handedly
39. Original: Kryska: This is the best time to show the galaxy that freedom will win over the tools of long dead tyrants any day!
Fix: long-dead
40. Original: Fontana: It was made by the hands of man, and it can be fallen by the same.
Fix: felled by the same
41. Original: Admiral: If we lose here, against just one ryder, my offspring will become laughstocks for the next ten generations.
Fix: laughingstocks
42. Original: Fontana: No longer will we overlook the suffering of our people for reckless misadventures on foreign lands.
Fix: in foreign lands
43: Original: Icari: S-seriously... W-who the hell do I think I am...
Fix: do you think
44. Original: Admiral Grey held hands with Fontana...
Fix: shook hands
45. Original: Admiral: ... While we mourn for those who lost their lives, must also commemorate the living.
Fix: we must also commemorate
46. Original: Shields stood to his feet.
Fix: Shields rose to his feet.
47. Original: For a moment, a second became eternity
Fix: For an instant, a second became eternity. (moment/second clashes badly)
48. Original (same line as above): Blood splatted Shields' face...
Fix: spattered (sprayed with small drops) or splashed (lots of blood)
49. Original: ... just moments before were rendered to pieces.
Fix: were rent to pieces. (past participle of render)
50. Original: Shields felt as if his own blood was draining out...
Fix: were draining out (conditional)
51. Original: Shields howled and clenched his blood soaked hands.
Fix: blood-soaked
52. Original: The hunter drones systemically hunted...
Fix: systematically or methodically
53. Original: Humanity is but a jealous, paranoid, hate filled biomass.
Fix: hate-filled
54. Original: Shields pointed his arm at Fontana,...
Fix: pointed at Fontana
55. Original: I WAS A FOOL TO THINK PEACE WOULD EVER EXIST BETWEEN YOU AND I
Fix: between you and me. (In this sentence, Kayto is the object of the preposition "between" and so has to take the objective form "me." Trust me on this one.)
56. Original: Ava held down Shields and wrestled him to the floor.
Fix: Ava held Shields back and... (If she was holding him down, then she couldn't wrestle him to the floor.)
57. Original: Kryska raised her side arm
Fix: sidearm, like firearm
58. Original: Kryska: I'm sorry captain.
Fix: I'm sorry, captain.
59. Original: The three of them went flying in the shock wave.
Fixes: flying from the shockwave.
60. Original: Kryksa: It is a more small scaled version of the original, which can be mounted on a regular ship based torpedo.
Fixes: small-scaled, original that can be mounted (no comma), ship-based
61. Original: Kryska: It's destructive potential is correspondingly smaller.
Fix: Its
62. Original: Kryska: H-honestly... that I never personally even fathomed it was even an option...
Fix: never personally fathomed (take out an "even")
63. Original: Kayto: Can we perform a short range warp...
Fix: short-range
64. Original: Kayto: All right Cosette... I'll let you out...
Fix: All right, Cosette...
65. Original: Kayto: And I hear the hanger crew...
Fix: hangar crew
66. Original: Ava: We are still 900 000 kilometers from the target and the warp drive...
Fix: 900,000 kilometers from the target, and the warp drive... (two commas)
67. Original: Ava: We are 100 000 kilometers from the target!
Fix: 100,000
68. Original: Kayto: All ahead full! Prepare to fire the vanguard at point blank range!
Fixes: Vanguard, point-blank
69. Original: Ava: 70 000 to target!
Fix: 70,000
70. Original: The Sunrider howled as a chunk of its mouth...
Fix: a chunk of its prow
71. Original: She checked off the last names off her crew list...
Fix: She checked off the last names on her crew list... (Take out an "off")
72. Original: Kayto: Our mission was nothing but a long shot gamble...
Fix: longshot
73. As Kayto sits in the wrecked bridge, the display screen above him shows a diagram of the Sunrider headed for Machiavelli Actual; it reads "Collison Course" instead of "Collision Course."
74. Original: Alpha: (No... She has long ceased being human... And has become a different entity all together...)
Fixes: long ceased to be human... altogether
75. Original: Claude: And this time, Claude will definitely win his heart! There won't be no little C8 unit to interfere any more!
Fix: There won't be any little C8 unit to interfere! (Use of "no" and "any" was inconsistent in the original. Claude would use one or the other, as in "no little C8 unit to interfere no more" or "any little C8 unit to interfere any more. And both produce repetition. Just ditch the "any more" phrase.
76. Original: Alpha: You will use your powers to change the time line?
Fix: Subsequent references have "timeline."
77. Original: Lynn: I felt a premonition. A sudden, inexplicable, urge...
Fix: delete comma after "inexplicable"
78. As mentioned by others, Ava has her eyepatch even if the player didn't opt to destroy the Legion.
79. Original: Asaga: I can't believe I just found like you like that!
Fix: just found you
80. Original: Kayto: She used the mindstream to control Chigara...
Fix: No one except the Prototypes have called the neural link that up until now, and Shields wouldn't know the term. Just make it "used the neural link" to control Chigara, as before.
81. Original: Kayto: I still hear the echos of Ava's voice that day...
Fix: echoes
82. Original: Kayto: "Captain... your order..."
Fix: Ava actually said "What are your orders, captain!?" in First Arrival.
83. Original: Kayto: Our hard won peace... completely shattered at my feet.
Fix: hard-won
84. Original: Kayto: ... Stare at death's maws with both eyes open.
Fix: death's maw or death's jaws. How many mouths does death have?
85. Original: Kayto: Can I be judged worthy of having done my duty.
Fix: It should be "Could I be judged" because of the phrases that preceded it: "I had to stand my ground... and only then..."
86. Original: Sola: Fear not. I merely seek to apply my in marksmanship...
Fix: I merely seek to apply my marksmanship...
87. Original: Kryska: While this may be of disappointing news, I intend to turn myself in to the Alliance!
Fix: may be disappointing news,
88. Original: Icari: Oy, whatdaya mean, she saved you!?
Fix: Oy, whattaya mean
89. Original: Claude: That sure was a messy entry... piro-tee~
Fix: I assume she's saying "pilot" in a Japanese accent. The problem is, it reads like "pirotee." Maybe just make it "pilot."
90. Original: Veniczar S. Fontana stood at the bridge of the Assault Carrier Vae Victus.
Fix: The Latin phrase is "Vae Victis," "Woe to the conquered."
91. Original: Kuushana: The Alliance will seek a target which will deal the most damage to our will. And a heavily populated core world like Tethra would to too tantalizing a target if it were to remain completely undefended...
Fix: "like Tethra would be too tantalizing"
92. Original: Kuushana: They will perform a risky multi-stage warp from Barona to Tethra, and ignore Cera all together.
Fix: altogether
93. Original: Kuushana: Thus far, Grey was wise enough to avoid such high risk strategems.
Fixes: high-risk, stratagems
94. Original: Kuushana: That will be the end of their offensive, as their ships will now be trapped deep inside PACT space with no safe warp back point to retreat.
Fixes: as their ships will be trapped, no safe warpback point to retreat to.
95. Original: Kuushana: The entire galaxy detests us now. And by good reason...
Fix: And for good reason
96. Original: Kuushana: The age of Compact, where we sought peace, instead of violence, freedom, instead of blind obedience to demagogues, and equality for all, begins today!
Fixes: The age of Compact in which we seek peace instead of violence, freedom instead of blind obedience to demagogues, and equality for all begins today!
97. Original: Fontana: (When we travelled the stars to liberate ourselves from the New Empire...)
Fix: traveled (LiS is a U.S. company, and this is how it's spelled in the U.S., just as it was spelled when Shields, about to crash the Sunrider into Machiavelli Actual, talked about the ship having "traveled the stars.")
98. Original: For as long as Shields could see, nothing but sand stretched on into the horizon.
Fix: For as far as Shields could see
99. Original: It was difficult to believe these deserts were considered one of Tydaria's more livable areas. Other locales featured nothing more than toxic gases and scotching heat.
Fix: scorching heat
100. Original: Sola: I believe Claude was actually the one who has been relying our movements to the prototypes.
Fixes: was actually the one relaying our movements
101. Original: Sola: It was like a momentary trace, where all of my surroundings faded away...
Fix: trance
102: Original: Sola: It was as if I was suspended in deep sleep once more, yet I was still in control of my body.
Fix: It was as if I were suspended in deep sleep once more, yet still in control of my body.
103. Original: Sola: Such powers were beyond even the Ryuvians... For if such a power was attained, the Holy Empire would never have collapsed. Even if it did, one could easily restore the Empire by simply travelling back in time.
Fixes: For if such a power had been attained; Even if it had, one could have easily restored the Empire; traveling back in time.
104. Original: Sola: Indeed, I feared if I exposed the truth of her identity, she may simply write me out of existence.
Fix: she might simply
105. Original: Kayto: Claude is a TIME TRAVELLER?
Fix: TRAVELER
106. Original: Sola: But not a god which seeks to be worshipped or feared.
Fixes: that seeks, worshiped
107: Original: Sola: A god which seeks... amusement.
Fix: that seeks
108. Original: Sola: An entity which merely desires...
Fix: that merely
109. Original: The notion that Veniczar S. Arcadius was actually just a petite girl would have been easier to swallow than this revelation!
Fix: They already know that about Arcadius, so it should be "The notion that Veniczar S. Arcadius was actually just a petite girl had been easier to swallow than this revelation!"
110. Original: That good for nothing hack of a doctor... actually a diety!?
Fixes: good-for-nothing, deity
111. Original: Sola: I must have warped forward in time two thousand years just moments before the activation of the Sharr'Lac's final tear.
Fix: Final Tear, to match previous references.
112. Original: Sola: That would further explain why I survived the certain death that the final tear would have caused.
Fix: Final Tear
113. Original: Sola: Claude has come to return me... to my own time line.
Fix: "timeline"
114. Original: Sola: I am effectively a rogue agent which should not exist in this universe. If am to...
Fix: If I am to
115. Original: Sola: Put another way, if my existence changes the time line...
Fix: timeline
116. Original: Kayto: From what you've told me of your time line
Fix: timeline
117. Original: Kayto: You said it yourself, right? You time warped just a second before the final tear burst.
Fix: Final Tear
118. Original: Kayto: Maybe there's still a way out of this. Without you returning to your time line.
Fix: timeline
119. Original: His losses have been grave.
Fix: had been grave
120. Original: Their mission was vast, and their efforts even mightier. And they got close to winning.
Fix: And they'd gotten close to winning.
121. Original: But at the last moment, the enemy had one last trick up their sleeve and snatched victory away.
Fix: the enemy had had one last trick
122. Original: Officer: Further, it appears the Farari bitch was also caught in the temporal blast and flung into this time line as well.
Fix: timeline
123. Original: Officer: Unknown interlopers have destroyed the time device, and thus we cannot anticipate returning to our time line...
Fix: timeline