Shining Song Starnova: Chapter One Beta Feedback

I got through the Beta once without any real problems.

The only thing I noticed was that the save load screen was a little sluggish. But this wasn't a major issue. A minor note at one point in the story something is set up for the 24th of a month but is instead labeled as the 24rd. Which is the kind of thing I used to hate having pointed out to me when I wrote papers. But gotta do my due diligence.

Onto the story segment. I'll have less to say here because it's the first beta but by and large the characters work well. Everyone will have their own favorites so I won't speak to that.

A few of the segments seemed a little rushed especially content involving muh Nemunemu. But the story works well and I'm invested in how it will play out for the characters.

Pretty sure I spotted our lord and savior Harambe in there as well as some posters and references to LIS's Sunrider series. The story started a good deal more cynically than I expected but ultimately I think that will work in its favor.

I downloaded it and played it as soon as I could. I kept expecting a fade to black so it turned out longer then I expected so that was a good thing. I went from assuming I'd like Mariya the most to warming up to Julie but all girls ended up just as great as the main sunrider series but with Nemu being better then Collette. I'm on Mac so I assumed to run into one or ten bugs but ended up just getting a crash screen when I tried to get a screenshot to show a friend Mika since they have an incredible weakness for Chuuni's. Some of the characters interactions seemed to be more important then others. Julie, Mariya, and Sasami ended up feeling fully fleshed out by the end of theirs and Nemu felt like she was from another game. Comparatively Mika, Aki, and Natsume fall kind of flat in comparison. I'm sure there will be more variety and choices during the full game so maybe it will feel less "Oh who do I get to have my interaction with this week" by the end. One of the things I liked about the pre route section of academy is that it felt natural with the established scenes and felt like it was introducing characters more then acting like this segment was just an in game equivalent to a character trailer. All in all it's a great experience an I look forward to the rest!

Hullo~

I just finished getting through the beta and I enjoyed it a lot = ). There are a few things I'll note in the list below, but overall I think the hard work payed off~

Note: I'm playing on Windows 10.

Minor Things:

• There were some misspellings in the beta, but it's nothing too big. One example is when Julie is walking back with Producer (after being caught with the businessman): She says "Aren't you're the one in hot water here?"
• To go off of that, there are a few minor grammatical hiccups (apart from the overuse of complex dependent clauses, which most of the time end up as comma splices). An example is the use of punctuation inside of parentheticals; I'll see if I can find the exact spot after I post this (sorry I can't remember exactly where it was). But, punctuation is typically put outside of the parenthetical statement because the sentence should still read grammatically correct if you cut it out.
• This might be a temporary solution at the moment, but would it be possible to put screenshots in their own folder instead of in the main folder? It's purely an organizational gripe, but it helps keep it clean for people who aren't overly familiar with computers (and those of us that don't like messy folders xD). I'm perfectly fine doing this myself, but it's probably easier to do it through Python.
• I assume that some of these sound effects will be moved around or changed, and I'm not sure at what pace other people read through visual novels, but some of them seemed lined up too close to each other (since a lot of them are the same sound clip). For example, when Mariya is gagging off-stage (before their live performance), her sound effect is used around 4 times or so in the space of about 8-10 lines. And, since I don't use the automatic progression option, I got all of them in the span of something like 5-7 seconds. It's not that big of a problem for most people, but I only noted it since it was the same exact sound repeated in a short time frame.

Slightly Less Minor Things (a.k.a story/content stuff):

• I'm slightly confused as to what specific point of view you want to put across to players/readers. Maybe it's just me that had questions about this, but when we enter the story, the perspective is structured by Sasami (ignoring that we actually enter with Mariya's p.o.v), but we quickly shift to Mr. Producer's head-space with tinges of ownership by Sasami (what I mean by this is we have the "first" person perspective of Mr. Producer as the center point, but there were a few times where we got blank Narrator narration that seemed to come from no one's voice and Sasami's voice). At first, it seems like you're trying to frame this story as Sasami's (since she is the only character giving us a perspective of this as something that already happened), but my main guess as to why this is, is that you're trying to "make" the story "ours" (the players/readers) and you're using Sasami as our "guide", but it felt slightly awkward to me.
• I'm not sure what time space the introduction is supposed to exist in either (in response to a point I made above). It was clear that Mariya and Sasami didn't know each other at that point, but in the "present" of that scene, Sasami drew us back (out of the illusion of being inside the story's world) and introduced us to the actual "story." I'm not sure if this was just a temporary beta frame for the rest of the novel, but that just left me wondering the whole time what context that scene was supposed to play. And maybe it's just something that's going to be explored later, but I'm still not sure how their lack of relationship at that point lines up with them not recognizing each other or making a comment about it in the actual story.
• I'm hoping I'm not the only one on this, but I was extremely confused by Nemu's fake yandere scene after she wouldn't answer her phone (I think it was a couple days before the live performance). I was all for it, and then we get this sudden pull back of like "as if!" I think it all happened in the Producer's head (like a gag or joke or something), but no one even mentions it afterwards. The Producer doesn't end it like a joke story he was telling, and none of the other members seem to even know about it. I'm guessing it was supposed to be a small development for Nemu and kind of expand her character a bit, but it seems to come out of no where and then disappear like it never even existed in the first place.

Yeah, I just meant a folder within the directory like "\ShiningSongStarnova\Screenshots". I don't think anything more than that would be necessary.

Yeah the fake yandere scene I feel needs work somehow. It does seem out of place. I think it was thrown in for comedic value but ended up having a rather jarring effect instead and left a lot of confusion as to what was actually going on at one stage.

Aside from that, there was a small wording issue that I don't think has been addressed by anyone so far, so... Where Mariya says "You're not allowed the panic until one of the members are missing", I'd probably change "are missing" to "is missing", and "the panic" to "to panic" (the latter isn't so much required for being technically correct, but it reads smoother imo). But that's kinda nitpicky I think.

Other than that, I'm not sure if it's because it's not yet implemented but fullscreen crashes the app on windows 10 when I try to switch to it. I don't get a log or anything from it, just that an error caused it to stop working.

It appears I am a bit late to giving my feedback as most of my complaints have already been addressed.
I agree with previous posts that the fake yandere scene felt off.
All of the typos I spotted have already been addressed.
As said by others, the way that each girl had their own section felt more like character trailers and the amount of time in each of them seemed to vary quite a bit. Natsuki's scene especially appeared to be very short.
As for technical issues the only problem I encountered was the issue with saving taking a long time. I ran roughly half of the beta on windows 8 before switching to a computer with windows 7 and finishing the beta.
The music fit most scenes really well, I especially enjoyed the music box track and was wondering if anyone knew the name of it.
Overall I very much enjoyed this beta and am very excited for the next.

Was using F and the menu's option, both on the main screen and during the game. Just tried F11 on the main screen and the intro where Mariya is doubled over. Same result... Sorry <3 New laptops come with Windows 10 these days or I'd still be on 7. It's not that bad once you get used to it... really *eye twitch* HONEST

hmm, I'm little bit in hurry, that's why I keep it short.

The charcter-design is great, I like most of the Girls. The point I think needs much much more love are player decisions. As example on the Scene at the bar with Sasami and Mariya - okay, she offers me a cigarette. Why not give a decision "oh, thanks"/"no, i'm not Smoking"? Or (in the same Scene) "I take a beer"/"I take a gin"/"I take a coke (and get forced to drink alc)".
I think that would be add lot of deep/RP. And after all that shouldn't be a big thing 'cause such minor decisions doesn't alter the whole game but just a few word in the next dialog. And the community would love it - I think

Unable to reproduce fullscreen crash on Windows 10 1607 and NVIDIA 750Ti.

Soooo uhhh... heh... heheheh... ^^; It works now. I'll just... go stand in the corner of shame.

I am always ready to serve with pleasure the creators of our great Icari-sama


Now I have some spare time and that's why I write a full Feedback
But please consider that I'm very bad in praising, but good at criticizing. I liked the Beta much, even if my feedback may be appear a little bit negative - I just can't write good things :S

Starnova Beta Feedback

Technical:

Worked great and smooth in Fullscreen and windowed mode on my desktop PC (win10, 1920x1080).


Music/Sound:

Everything nice!


Grafic:

The Girls are beautiful painted, and the Backgrounds are AAA.
Only one thing was really annoying: The "bent-forward-and-have-one-hand-before-the-mouth" pose of Mariya. This pose is just too overused. If Mariya is sick, if Mariya is smoking, if Mariya just speaks - everytime the same sprite.
I highly suggest to work this over and maybe create at least one new pose for Mariya.  


Scenario:

Hmm, it's okay. I'm more into military and sci-fi, I have nothing to do with Idols, but yeah, it's okay
I can't tell if it feels like you're a part of the "real" Idol industry 'cause I've absolute no idea how this would feel. I think even I will be able get into


Content:

As mentioned before: User decisions!

And, another thing: there are that much good ideas for minigames/additional gameplay here in the Forum. atm it seems like there will be absolute no gameplay beside "casual"-VN-gameplay. Why? Wasn't that one of the main parts that made Sunrider succesfull?

Away from this, the Beta feels very short and some scenes a little bit rushed (gave me memories of LD 1.0). I missed some "just random days" where the Girls just talk together and develop there character/relations. atm there is always a thing, kidnapping, sexual harassment, alcohol escapades. Maybe a way to much.


Fanservice:

Too much! In the first 15 min two topless Scenes? Fan Service should be a kind of achievement, you play the game, and after hours of keep up with you're waifus you got finally your topless/naked Scene.
In the Beta I haven't any motivation to "hunt down" the Girls, they are cheaply jump at the Player.


The Girls:

Sasami:
Hmm. I never liked Chigara. Maybe I have some prejudices. But Sasami apears as a 1:1 copy of Chigara with the look of young Ava. Sorry, but she's absolut not very original.
Especially the "oh, Producer is here for me" "Producer will protect me" "Producer will help us all"-sentences feels like copy-pasted from Chigara...

Aki:
I think Aki is great. Her character is much more complex then the others, and that's why I think the choice to give her overall more dialogs is very good. If there would be some kind of canon/main waifu, I think Aki would be one of the best choices. She have very much potential for dramatic Twists!

Julie:
Hm. It's not our great empress Icari-sama. But, she's at least tsundere.
I'm 100% prejudiced. I like her more then the other Girls, but no one will be surprised about that. For my personal taste she could be a way more tsun, but for most guys out there I think it's okay how it is.  

Mariya:
Too old, too negative. For my taste. But I'm sure she should apear like this - and that's why I think she's perfect as she is now.
Just remeber what I've wrote at the Grafic-section: The same pose for the 284th time isn't really nice.

Mika:
Hmm, I like Mika as she is. I think heres everything nice!

Natsuki:
See above, nothing special to write. She's a Asaga nice Substitute, which I like. Not copy-pasted like Sasami, and thats good. 

Nemu:
I'm maybe prejudiced too. I liked Claude in MoA, but does we really need again a hormone-controlled sex-beast? The yandere part is fresh and very nice, but after all there is too much Claude inside Nemu.
And I have the bad feeling that she becomes (like Claude in LD) some weird Deus Ex Machina. I'm not really a fan of Deus Ex Machinas....

Veniczar Cullen
If Aki not take a main part in the Story, there is no doubt, that Cullen have to take the lead. Cullen have a damn great potential, but he need more love!



Enought now, I have to work

If you need further Explanations, just ask.

Let's get the obvious thing out of the way first: Natsuki's introduction has her introduce herself as "Natsume". If that's not intentional, you might want to change that, or at the very least acknowledge that she got her own name wrong.

And since someone else did analysis by character, I will too! Along with an extra bonus: The Idolmaster character I'm secretly comparing them to!

Sasami
Comparing her to: Uzuki Shimamura
Yes, she's the "good girl" archetype. We all know that. But I think most people don't really see past the surface there and realize that her issue is essentially what happens when you have the "good girl" find out that the industry is one that, while claiming that good girls are ideal, actively punishes them for acting as such and are pushing them to throw away their morals if they want to succeed. Yes, she insists that everything will turn out okay if they just follow the producer, but that's just as much a mantra more to herself than anyone else. "Things will be okay", "there's still good here", "I don't have to throw away my morals to succeed". Heck, one can even argue that the reason why she called the producer to meet Julie there is a test to make sure he really is someone she can trust. Right now, she's the binding agent of the team, when it comes down to it. I'm looking forward to how things explode around her and continue to make her struggle to maintain her optimism and trust even as things fall apart.

Aki
Comparing her to: Iori Minase
Ah, the duplicitous idol. An old favorite of mine. We know how this type goes: Maintaining a cutesy front for the public to see, even while they tend towards being cynicism when the cameras aren't rolling. This one even showed up in Love Live! There's always something enjoyable about the two-facedness of these types, where they can quickly switch between "work" mode and their normal mode. Of course, Aki kind of lost her duplicity pretty quickly, which is a bit of a shame, really. That being said, her drive is great. It's nice to have an idol whose basic approach to team relations is being a bulldozer and seeing how everyone reacts to that.

Julie
Comparing her to: Miki Hoshii
...I honestly can't explain why I find myself comparing these two though, as Julie is a... very different kind of character overall? Maybe it's the fact that her solution to dealing with the producer is going on the attack. ...Though the tsundere aspect honestly felt kind of forced to me. You seemed like the upfront and assertive type, Julie, why is it that suddenly you're tsundere about your feelings once you have them? Is it because you're blonde and blondes are tsundere? Why is that little bit of racism is the first thing that comes to mind?

Mariya
Comparing her to: Nana Abe
Nana is too old for this shit. Mariya is too old for this shit. A perfect comparison! ...Okay, jokes aside, the burnt out idol is definitely a new experience for me. Speaking frankly, I don't like her as a person because she's honestly kind of terrible, but I love it when she goes into her "don't look down on idols" mode. Honestly, she's probably the character whose character growth I'm most looking forward too, since she has so much potential. Can she clean up her act? Will she end up drowning in her own vomit after a show? It's anyone's guess!

Mika
Comparing her to: Ranko Kanzaki
Yes, the most obvious of all comparisons! But let's be real, Chuuni as a shield is always really fun overall. Mika is a very fun character. More than anyone else, she made me smile whenever she was around. Even when she was having her mental breakdown, it was making me smile. I can understand why she's popular. There's not actually much to say here in terms of analysis though, since it's basically otaku NEET issues and if I were to actually analyze those we would be here forever as people have written entire essays about those issues.

Natsuki
Comparing her to: Yayoi Takatsuki
This is another comparison where I'm just kind of going "...I'm not sure why I'm making this comparison, it just feels right somehow". Comparisons aside, though... It's the energetic character! Oh boy, you sure know what you're getting here! ...Honestly, she's the character I have the least investment in. I've never been fond of her type, though her brutal honesty is helping me keep things in check. Still, it kind of feels like there's... not much to talk about here? She... exists. It feels like she's primarily here for the purpose of comedy relief.

Nemu
Comparing her to: Syoko Hoshi
"But surely the sweet, innocent, and perfect girl who is secretly yandere is a better comparison", I'm sure some people are thinking. But nope, I'm honestly unsure if Nemu actually classes as yandere. I'm currently classing it as some sort of... Yan Tourette's. Perfectly sane most of the time, but in moments of high stress she starts acting like a yan. ...Speaking frankly, I think it's funnier if it turns out she really isn't yandere. Honestly, her condition cracks me up, which is odd since I normally hate yandere characters. Keep on being you, Nemunemu.

With that done, my personal character ranking:
#1: Sasami
#2: Mika
#3: Aki
#4: Nemu
#5: Julie
#6: Mariya
#7: Natsuki

Honestly though, I could see some fun usage out of that, since we don't seem to have anyone that uses a "stage name". I just... think it would kind of interesting if Natsume is her real name and Natsuki's a stage name, and she just... forgot she was using it? The fact that the two names are close to eachother means she can get away with forgetting it too, since everyone calls her Nachan.

I'm probably overthinking this, though.

It is certainly a fun little theory. My own (which is a a lot more boring) theory is that the LiS supply of energy drinks were running low at the time this was typed up.


I am not actually sure myself (but then again I failed French at school) but I shall run this via the writer. Thanks for the flag.